Living with a hoarder can feel like navigating a minefield. Mountains of clutter grow daily, making it nearly impossible to find a clear surface, let alone move around comfortably. Hoarding isn’t just messy—it’s a recognized disorder. Those who hoard struggle to part with almost anything, often collecting items that seem useless to everyone else. Surfaces, floors, and counters become unusable, filled with newspapers, outdated coupons, broken containers, or even animal hoarding, creating an unsafe, chaotic home environment.
The effects on family life can be devastating. Hoarding disrupts routines, strains relationships, and can make it difficult to raise children in a safe, organized space. Studies show hoarding affects over 6% of Americans—about 19 million people. It’s a widespread issue, yet often misunderstood.
I first encountered hoarding as a college student, visiting a young couple’s home. Their toddler crawled through piles of garbage, and I remember the shock and horror I felt. Later, while working in a Toronto shop selling maps and travel items, I faced another extreme. The shop was overwhelmed with clutter, rotting food, and debris. Sorting it all triggered a cleaning frenzy, but I quickly realized that what seems like “junk” to one person may hold deep value for someone else. Hoarders often resist help because of strong emotional attachments to their possessions. Simply throwing items away can worsen the problem and cause serious distress.
Think of hoarding like addiction. You wouldn’t resolve a drug or alcohol problem by just removing the substance—without addressing the underlying issue, the behavior will continue. Likewise, a hoarder needs support, understanding, and tools to regain control of their space.
Here are ten ways you can help:
- Seek support – Join a local support group or work with a professional coach who specializes in hoarding. You don’t have to tackle it alone.
- Challenge gently – Discuss your loved one’s attachment to items and gently encourage them to reconsider keeping certain things. Avoid judgment.
- Prevent future clutter – Develop strategies together to stop new items from accumulating.
- Use professional resources – Self-help books, therapy, medications, and support groups can help a hoarder become internally motivated to change.
- Commit to ongoing support – Recovery is lifelong. Consistent encouragement and treatment reduce the risk of relapse.
- Respect boundaries – Never discard items without permission. Building trust is essential.
- Empathize – Acknowledge the emotional value objects may hold. Everyone has attachments to their possessions.
- Understand their perspective – Try to see the importance your loved one places on their belongings; this understanding can help guide positive change.
- Encourage safety – Focus on clearing paths and critical areas, like doorways and stairs, to make the home safer.
- Work together – Frame decluttering as a shared effort rather than a battle. Celebrate small victories, like organizing a dinner with friends, to motivate progress.
Helping a loved one with hoarding requires patience, empathy, and practical strategies. By offering support without judgment and using structured guidance, you can help them regain control of their home and improve their quality of life. Change is possible—but it works best when approached with understanding, consistency, and care.
Words Have Power 